The last few months sealed your spouse’s fate—you tried, and tried, and tried to work things out, but all that together time during the coronavirus pandemic laid bare the fact that you aren’t meant to be married anymore. However, you know from your friends’ stories what’s in store for you next: the shouting matches, airing of dirty laundry on Facebook, and everyone picking a side in a public court battle.
It doesn’t have to be this way, and it shouldn’t be this way. Although you may never want to see your spouse’s face ever again, mediation might be what’s best for you, your children, and everyone else in the long run. We’ve outlined some reasons why.
- It can spare you and your children the stress of a litigated divorce. The main selling point of mediation is that it avoids most of the court appearances and, by nature, mitigates any animosity and conflict. Instead of going to court (as is the case with a contested divorce), the spouses meet with a third party (mediator) who facilitates the discussion, offers advice, and helps nudge negotiations along so both parties can come to an agreement regarding the divorce settlement.
- A mediated divorce can be quicker and cheaper than traditional litigation. Mediation is almost always a quicker process than a traditional, litigated divorce. Because the process is quicker, you have less money that you have to spend on professional services.
- Mediation can pave the way for an amicable post-divorce relationship. A misconception about divorce (and a rather damaging one at that) is that a divorce case has to be won or lost. A divorce is not like a 49ers game; there is no final score to worry about. Treating divorce like a zero-sum game fosters animosity and ill feelings toward your (soon-to-be-ex) spouse.
This might work out if you are moving to another state and you intend to destroy every last trinket of your past life, but it usually doesn’t, and it certainly doesn’t when you have children involved. It might not sound appealing now, but you will have to get along with your ex as a co-parent. Mediation can help you gain some muscle memory when it comes to resolving disputes.
- Mediation doesn’t have to solve all of your disputes. It’s a misconception that couples who already generally get along are the only ones who can use mediation. Couples in high-conflict situations will only have those feelings exacerbated when they get into a courtroom setting. Mediation is designed to help diffuse these feelings. Plus, even if you are unable to get every last detail resolved, there’s a high possibility that you can still make significant progress in mediation.
Our Firm Can Help
Not all family lawyers will openly encourage mediation to settle a divorce case like Ahluwalia Law does. But, that’s one of many things that sets us apart from the rest: we don’t want to rack up billable hours in exchange for your having a more contentious divorce than you need. Want to know more? Call us today at 408-416-3149.
